Sunday, September 12, 2010

like a moth to a flame

august has been effervescently eventful with unheralded realizations, but hey, life is life. 

my trip to costa rica was nothing short of a life altering experience. prior to arriving, being immersed alongside extreme poverty was practically unheard of.  scenes of dilapidated homes with distorted tin roofs blew by my windowpane, hand-washed laundry swayed gently in the nonexistent breeze, junkyard worthy cars littered in front of every doorstep, and then, my beating heart suddenly swelled.  these children, their families, their lives, this is all they will ever know.  having vacationed for a week in a third world country stirred up long forgotten memories deeply thrusted in the nether regions of my brain.  long ago, long forgotten, i was struck by how vividly the memories formed as though it happened yesterday. during my exploration as a young impressionable child into guangzhou, china, i remembered the horrific scene of two dozen disfigured children rushing at high speed towards me. having been a naive child, i foolishly gave two pennies from my pocket to a seemingly innocent beggar when in reality, it was merely a con to trick dumb americans [i.e. me].

it was surreal.

although costa rica housed no child beggars missing eyeballs or a limb, the feeling remains the same.

a sadness that i long forgotten had emerged and set deep within me.

on a happier note, here's my photo diary: 

our trek up our hotel room


drinks poolside

lunching like ladies

how i got food poisoning

playa conchal

ziplining across the leafy jungle

scenic waterfall


boat tour sighting : ficus tree deeply rooted


and that concludes my trip in a nutshell.

fantastic experience.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

the winner takes all

saturday afternoon

current weight: 111.7

bikram yoga, day 2.

the experience was mindbogglingly transformational. i went from a naive yoga novice to a fluid and flexible core seeking individual with muscles rippling in my reflection drenched in hard earned sweat.  i felt astonishingly self absorbed as the center i found was none other than my appearance.

can't wait for round 3, monday.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

challenge thyself

thursday night

current weight: 111.6

today marks the beginning of my new life.  

today i began bikram.

in 1970, bikram choudhury discovered bikram yoga from harmonizing traditional techniques coupled with the ingenious idea of practicing in an 105 degree room with 40% humidity.  the class usually spans from 90 minutes incorporating 26 different postures [poses] and 2 breathing exercises.

the idea behind "hot yoga" is designed towards achieving wellness from within and the intense humidity fosters the desired environment for deeper stretching, necessary injury prevention, stress and tension relief. it acts as an neglected stimulant and restores health to each and every part of your body, muscle, joints and organs included.

having been an avid gym rat for the last two consecutive years, never have i felt the strong need to succumb until today.

not even when i ran for 45 minutes straight on the treadmill at 6.8 speed and felt the inevitable need to throw up.

not even when i completed 1 hour of elliptical at alternating intervals of 4 and 8 resistance levels at the speed of 180 - 220 strides per minute 4 - 5 consecutive days a week

not even when i starved myself silly by eating only 3 south beach diet frozen meals a day 
[180 - 240 cal each =  approx 600 cal per day for 3 weeks]

but today, i finally felt like quitting.

i was weak.

and dizzy.

visibly dehydrated.

my brain felt like exploding.

i longed for fresh air.


and...i'm back.

saturday at 10am?


sometimes i forget, i don't know the meaning of quitting.

life is but a long journey, you win some, you lose some.

conquer by setting unattainable goals for thyself.

mind over matter.

in no time, the distance you've risen from will undoubtedly astound you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

firm ground

thursday night

boyfriend is away, time to come out and play?

sadly, no.

the last two days have been spent pouring [sweat] over the treadmill, elliptical and any other cardio machine i can get my grubby hands on.

6 hours down, 4 more to go.

i've decided to shoot for 10 hours at the gym this week and 12 the next.

some say i'm crazy, i think i'm golden.

wednesday night

current weight this morn: 111.7 lbs

canto do brasil

complimentary chicken liver pate + freshly baked bread

 beautiful view of our "backyard"

succulent grilled shrimp skewers

clear seafood chowder teeming full of fresh red snapper, black mussels + clams

feijoada completa

sunday night dinner

st. clement 2007 merlot
bbq pork scrambled with sugar snap peas, carrots, onions + fragrant sauteed garlic
ripe tomatoes with scrambled eggs, onions + tart ketchup

aya's birthday dinner @ eiji

sashimi platter [sake, maguro, shimo aji, hamachi]


freshly prepared oboro tofu

giant strawberry mochi

dessert @ creations
mango sago with extra mango

like i said before and again, life is beautiful so treat yourself to something devilishly sweet!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

gaining momentum

saturday afternoon

after seeing the colossal weight gain on my scale the morning before, i dieted furiously and worked out for the last two days.

i finally have my pre-menstrual body back!

well, not completely but i feel normal again[and only 1 pound heavier than usual, no biggie].


i'm determined to remain on track throughout this weekend and beyond.  these next 2 days will be the first of many hurdles before my bikini filled trip.

got. to. stay. on. track.

Friday, July 16, 2010

state of denial

friday morning

current state: crazed.

in 2 weeks, i'm due for a relaxing albeit adventurously daring vacation in costa rica and i am eons away from being bikini bod ready for my 6 day trip under the costa rican sun.

must defy everything tasty beginning today.

aunt flo has blown me all out of wack and having me reach for the the insanely salty and sugary sweet snacks which i haven't been able to put down and it has directly attributed to my current bloated state.


so annoyed.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

one day you're out, the next you're in

thursday morning

days of zero results shown on the scale has forced me to happily resume my no carb diet.  once again, carbs are out and sugar is in.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

dreams do turn into reality, eventually.

wednesday night

as a tribute to those inspiring individuals who not only set seemingly unattainable goals yet surpasses every obstacle given with flying colors, i have decided to begin my arduously lengthy self-training for the 2011 bay to breakers.

i started today.

i lasted no more than 20 minutes, jogging steadily upwards on van ness feeling as though my tiny lungs would burst inevitably with every step.

it's a start, albeit, a infinitesimal one but haven't you heard the story about the tortoise?

"slow and steady, wins the race"

delicious mistakes are often meant to be made

if mistakes are often meant to be made, then the biggest mistake would be completely eliminating refined sugars and reintroducing "carbs" back into this holy temple.

wednesday morning

current weight: 114.1

although i may be utterly despondent due to my newly risen weight, my weekends and gratified tummy says otherwise.

tanpopo's karamisu chashu ramen

starbelly's chilaquiles
our trek into "sunlit" sausalito
fish's spring ceviche + housemade tortilla chips
fish's tuna melt + shoestring french fries
the camera loving gf
my camera shy bf

ha nam ninh's infamous # 25 [dry pho]
homemade dinner for two +
spanish wine to commemorate their FIFA win!
made by the bf

whole wheat penne
spicy turkey andouille sausage
assorted organic vegetables

tart green apple slices
dutch spicy hot edam cheese
havarti dill
chaubier french cow + goat cheese
capetown cheddar spread
balsamic vinegar + olive oil
freshly toasted acme italian baguette
with many, many more to come!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

wouldn't it be nice

*singing along to the 60's beach boys version*

wouldn't it be nice if i was skinny
then i wouldn't have to diet all day
wouldn't it be nice if i had some money
then i could tan at the beach and lay

life would be so much more simpler if everything came easily
but if everything was easy, then it wouldn't be worth it.

thursday morning

current weight: 112.8 lbs

i'm guessing the 45 minutes of abs + strenous leg work performed last night is no match with cardio when trying to lose. back to running i go!


Wednesday, June 30, 2010

life is a jungle.

safari west was definitely an unforgettable experience.

a sea full of flamingos

 the 15 year old tortoise

the mischievous and strangely adorable pair of monkeys that made us go "aww"

the friendliest giraffe

the most wondrous experience, albeit, unbearable due to the sweltering heat, safari west is an experience not to be missed.  the unique tent-like meeting room to the surprisingly delicious all inclusive barbecue lunch, the whole day flowed steadily without a hitch.

a wonderful day it was indeed.

cheesecake galore!

wednesday morning

current weight: 112.7

yesterday was infinitely detrimental to my rigorously stringent monday - thursday diet.  among the lanky list of offenders, the most adverse would be:

chocolate m&m's
reese' pieces
2 generous helpings of mayonnaise ridden macaroni salad
penne pasta in tomato sauce
vanilla ice cream showered in fudge sauce
2 glasses of red wine
gargantuan serving of whipped garlic mashed potatoes
raspberry cheescake
chocolate cheesecake
1/2 reese' pieces cupcake
1/2 vanilla bean cupcake
1/2 raspberry flavored vanilla cupcake

as i was walking back to my seat with the platter of decadent desserts, all eyes followed as i promptly explained, "it's not all for me!"
of course, no one believed me and pictures followed since documentation was in order...

i am now known as the resident fatty @ SF RBM :(

Monday, June 28, 2010

decisions, decisions

i want to go to the gym.

i need to go to the gym.


toystory 3, what?
sunday morning

current weight: 111.1

as unfalteringly dedicated as i have been to my neverending, everlasting "diet", i've realized this is a battle i cannot win. that is not to say i am admitting defeat, in reality, i'm learning to come into terms with who i am and what i will never be.

in this painfully arduous journey, i've learned i can still maintain and lose without sacrificing life's little pleasures. with that, i leave you my photographic journey from my last few weeks.

haight street fest 10'
garlic fries

homemade spicy crab hot pot
ramen noodles
assorted veggies

my bf loves to cook, no wonder i heart him <3

 north beach festival
lannie + i

hiking @ big sur

sunday 6/20
7am wake up call
made sandwiches
8am hopped into car
8:30am drove 3 hrs
hiked for 4 hrs
saw beautiful waterfalls
back hurts
dirty shoes
round 2?

majestic, ain't it?

the outdoorsy girl crew

my bf + i

breathtakingly gorgeous

spicy beef noodle soup

congrats m+m on your matching MBA's!

my beautiful mythu + i

loann, carol, lockie, lisa

Com Tam Thanh @ San Jose

homemade by the bf

organic "inside out" burgers
sauteed onions + jalopenos
cheddar cheese
sour pickles
fresh romaine
sweet sliced tomatoes

sauteed mushrooms, bell peppers + sliced onions
sweet potato fries 
rosemary + thyme

his mouthwatering masterpiece

fully done yet juicy